The following mock interview contains real quotes from the characters in the movies. So, while the interview is my creation, the quotes are real. Enjoy!

Welcome to another Halloween Special interview! I’m Michael Arruda, and tonight my guests are four esteemed doctors from the movies, Dr. Henry Frankenstein from FRANKENSTEIN (1931), Dr. Henry Jekyll from DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE (1941), Dr. Sam Loomis from HALLOWEEN (1978), and Professor Van Helsing from DRACULA (1931).

Tonight, our four esteemed guests will speak on the popularity of Halloween and the public’s love of horror. Who better to analyze our love for all things macabre than these four intellectual gentlemen?

Welcome, gentlemen, and thank you for joining me tonight.

JEKYLL, FRANKENSTEIN, LOOMIS, VAN HELSING: Thank you for having us. Good to be here.

MICHAEL: All right. Let’s get right down to it. Why is Halloween so popular? Why does the public crave all things horror?

DR. JEKYLL: I’ll start. We’ve all had thoughts that we didn’t want published or shouted out loud. And we certainly have had desires that are not confined to a drawing room.

MICHAEL: Are you saying that we love Halloween and all things spooky because we’re secretly repressed?

DR. JEKYLL: Let me put it this way: good and evil are so close as to be chained together in the soul. Now, suppose we could break that chain, separate those two selves – free the good in man, and let it go to its higher destiny and segregate the bad.

MICHAEL: And Halloween kind of does that, right? It’s our way of going all in with our dark side and having fun with it?

VAN HELSING: You’ll die in torment if you die with innocent blood on your soul.

MICHAEL: This is getting very deep. It almost makes Halloween sound dangerous.

DR. FRANKENSTEIN: Dangerous? Have you never wanted to do anything that was dangerous? Where should we be if no one tried to find out what lies beyond? Have you never wanted to look beyond the clouds and the stars, or to know what causes the trees to bud? And what changes the darkness into light? But if you talk like that, people call you crazy. Well, if I could discover just one of these things, what eternity is, for example, I wouldn’t care if they did think I was crazy.

VAN HELSING (to FRANKENSTEIN): I may be able to bring you proof that the superstition of yesterday can become the scientific reality of today.

DR. JEKYLL: But, after all, that’s the problem of civilized man’s soul, isn’t it? That good and evil are constantly fighting one another?

MICHAEL: I dunno. I mean, I think we have worst problems than that. Anyway, we haven’t heard yet from Dr. Loomis. Dr. Loomis— is he asleep?

DR. FRANKENSTEIN (nudges Loomis): He’s just resting. Waiting for a new life to come.

(Everyone laughs)

MICHAEL: I have a feeling we’re boring you, doctor.

LOOMIS: You have the wrong feeling.

MICHAEL: Do you have anything to add to what we’ve been saying about Halloween?

LOOMIS: What more do you need?

MICHAEL: I don’t know. Do you agree with what these folks have been saying, that Halloween is almost a necessity for our survival, a way of satisfying our need to visit the dark side once in a while?

LOOMIS: I was told there was nothing left; no reason, no conscience, no understanding in even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong. I met this… six-year-old child with this blank, pale, emotionless face, and… the blackest eyes – the Devil’s eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up, because I realized that what was living behind that boy’s eyes was purely and simply… evil.

MICHAEL: Are you saying that if Michael Myers had been allowed to trick or treat as a kid, things might have been different for him?

LOOMIS: You may be right.

MICHAEL: That’s hard to believe.

VAN HELSING: The strength of the vampire is that people will not believe in him.

(Awkward silence)

MICHAEL: Let’s shake things up a bit. Favorite Halloween candy?

VAN HELSING: A moment ago, I stumbled upon a most amazing phenomenon. Something so incredible, I mistrust my own judgement. Look.

(VAN HELSING reveals a king size chocolate bar.)

MICHAEL: That is amazing. King size chocolate bars are a rarity these days.

(HENRY FRANKENSTIN opens a package of gummy worms, takes one out, and dangles it in front of the others.)

FRANKENSTEIN: Look! It’s moving. It’s alive. It’s alive… It’s alive, it’s moving, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, IT’S ALIVE!

(DR. JEKYLL reveals a flask full of liquid and drinks it down.)

MICHAEL: Dr. Jekyll likes adult candy, I see.

(JEKYLL begins to transform into MR. HYDE before their eyes.)

JEKYLL: I’ve done nothing. I’m Dr. Jekyll. I’m Dr. Henry Jekyll. I’ve done nothing. I’m Dr. Jekyll. I’m Dr. Henry Jekyll, I tell you. I’ve done nothing. You’re looking for a man named Hyde. Hyde! I’m Dr. Henry Jekyll. I’m Dr. Jekyll, I tell you! I tell you, I’m Dr. Jekyll! I’m Dr. Henry Jekyll!

(Now fully MR. HYDE, he grabs his cane and bolts from the studio.)

LOOMIS: He’s gone! He’s gone from here! The evil is gone!

MICHAEL: That was unexpected. Sort of. How about you, Dr. Loomis? Any favorite Halloween candy?

LOOMIS: Thorazine.

MICHAEL (laughs): I hope you’re joking. We’re almost out of time. So, do you have any costumes picked out for this Halloween?

(HENRY FRANKENSTEIN takes out a photograph and shows it to MICHAEL)

FRANKENSTEIN: That body is not dead. It has never lived. I created it. I made it with my own hands, from the bodies I took from graves, from the gallows, anywhere! Go and see for yourself.

MICHAEL: Sure. Where is it?

(FRANKENSTEIN starts to answer, but LOOMIS interrupts him)

LOOMIS: I watched him for fifteen years, sitting in a room, staring at a wall…

MICHAEL: Who? The guy in this picture?

LOOMIS: …not seeing the wall, looking past the wall; looking at this night, inhumanly patient, waiting for some secret, silent alarm to trigger him off. Death has come to your little town. Now, you can either ignore it, or you can help me to stop it.

VAN HELSING: Gentlemen, we are dealing with the undead.

MICHAEL: Are you saying the body in this picture is… undead?

(VAN HELSING nods)

MICHAEL (to FRANKENSTEIN): You really struck gold here. Not only did you create life, you created immortality.

FRANKENSTEIN (jubilant): Oh, in the name of God! Now I know what it feels like to be God!

MICHAEL: Wow. We’re finishing up here on a high note.

(HENRY FRANKENSTEIN hands out glasses and starts pouring champagne.)

MICHAEL: I can’t think of a better way to end this interview. A toast anyone?

LOOMIS (raises his glass): He came home!

ALL: He came home!

MICHAEL: Cheers! Thank you all, and good night!

—END—